December 26th 2013, EXPLOSION AT THE INLAWS

By cody | Dec 26, 2013
An hour ago I was sitting in the rocking chair, with my little princess. Wearing my new baby blue YETI T-shirt that Santa brought me... Just another ordinary day in small town Saskatchewan... UNTIL THE STORM HIT!!! 

Kelsy informed me she was headed out for lunch with the girls, and that I was captain of the infant ship for the next few hours. 

When she was leaving, I got the impression she was nervous to leave our daughter alone with me... Women... 

Ten minutes in, I was feeding Berk a bottle... Half an ounce, burp her... Half an ounce, burp her... As I was telling Kels on the way out the door; this parenting thing is a piece of cake! 

Once she devoured the milk wagon, it was time to change her diaper before a nap... I laid out a receiving blanket to protect my MOTHER INLAWS couch from any mis-haps that come with diaper changing duties. I cant stress enough how important it is to Be well prepared when you're tackling such an intimidating feet... 

Wipes within good reach of my free arm, check. Vaseline two inches south of the wipes, check. I fresh diaper, open and ready for ACTION, check. And most importantly, a strong clear mind that can carry you through triumph if necessary. 

I pulled the final sticky tab and slowly peaked in... To find nothing but a wet bum. A walk in the park really... I grabbed a wipe and followed standard procedure. Once everything was clean, with my left hand I pushed her little heels up towards her forehead, and pulled the wet diaper out from under her... THE NEXT 41 SECONDS WAS A BLURR!!! 

By the time I realized I had just broken rules number four AND EIGHT in the diaper changing handbook, IT WAS TOO LAIT!!!

Rule # 4- never ever remove a soiled diaper, until a new one is in position to take its place

Rule # 8- always treat your baby as if he or she is "LOADED"... The same as a gun. Always keep "IT" pointed in a safe direction, AND NEVER AT YOURSELF!!!

Apparently, pushing her little feet up towards her chin created serious pressure in her tummy!!! At the time, I had no idea where "IT" was pointed, but I can now tell you she had her VORTEX CROSSHAIRS right on the center of the YETI crest!!! 

The sight and smell was somewhat overwhelming at first, but I'm here to tell you it's gonna take a lot more than that to throw this daddy off his game... All in one motion I puffed up like PATRICK ROY and "SMOTHERED THE PUCK," saving the INLAWS Christmas decor!!! One would think I'm a hero!!!... But the story goes on... 

The Yeti T and the receiving blanket lost the fight, but everything else came out unscathed. I quickly cleaned her up, threw a new dipe on, and pulled her from the scene of the crime. I temporarily relocated her on the love seat across the way...

I no sooner turned my back, and heard a choking/splashing noise!!!... My little princess was now projectile puking on my MOTHER INLAWS couch!!! 

YIKES!!!! My mother inlaw will be home in twenty minutes, and she has TALONS!!!! Gotta go!


Berkley Georgia Robbins